"To you, everything's funny. You've got nothing to regret. I'd give all I have honey if you could stay like that. Oh darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up, just stay this little. Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple. I won't let nobody hurt you. I won't let no one break your heart. Yeah, no one will desert you--just try to never grow up"As a {future} teacher, these are words to live by.
This last school year, I was in the same beautifully chaotic second grade classroom for the entire year. As I was driving away from the school on the last day with the kids, "Never Grow Up" started playing and I just cried and cried. I pray that even if they don't remember my name, or what I looked like, that one day they'll remember the student intern that loved them and made them feel like they could accomplish anything. I most likely won't ever see any of those students again, but I think about them often. They taught me more than anything I had learned in any class at Virginia Tech. It is a privilege to say my job for the rest of my life will be hanging out with kids.
So why am I just now writing this? As some of you may know, I am in grad school here at VT for Elementary Education (duh), and I am in the home stretch of the first summer session, which is 6 weeks long. And I am tired. I am over writing lesson plans. I feel like I am drowning (only sometimes). Stress has taken over, tears have been shed, and thoughts of "can I really do this for the rest of my life" have been creeping in my mind. I definitely need motivation to keep me on track with the job of my dreams, and I know the girls in my cohort will probably need some too (unless I'm the only one who feels a little mentally unstable right now then ~idk~). So, I'm writing an open letter to my future students.
Dear future students:
I am so excited to meet you. Also, you may be nervous for the first day of school with a teacher you have never heard of...but I promise you I am way more nervous. What if I don't teach you right? What if you don't understand how I am trying to explain things to you (which is very likely because I'm horrible at explaining!!)? What if you hate me? Or throw things at me? Well--I don't have an answer for those things right now. But I'm sure when the time comes, we can figure those things out together. Please don't be scared for ____ grade. We will be learning and growing together. Some of you may have not even been born yet. And if you are one of those students, then congratulations because by the time I teach you I will have a few years under my belt and will have a better hold on this teaching thing. Yay, go you! I know there will be tough days, for both of us. I may come into work that day with a raging headache, or any number of things that have nothing to do with you. And I may take that out on you. And if I do, I am so sorry. If I do, I will be playing it over and over in my head for a very long time because you don't deserve that. There might be some of you that don't have houses, parents, or a good home life. There will be some of you that have it so bad, that I may leave the school in tears because my heart aches for you. There will be some of you whose parents are involved and are thriving in the classroom. Each one of you and each one of your situations are so welcome in my classroom. Each of you matters. Even if you don't get treated like you matter, you matter. You deserve to be heard and loved and cherished and held and comforted every day of your life. I won't be around for every day of your life. But I will be around for one school year, and in that school year I pray you understand how much you matter. I haven't met any of you yet, but I know I will love each one of you. I'll love the shy kid who yearns for approval. I'll love the class clown even though he disrupts the class. I'll love the chatty friends who will ~only~ work with each other. I'll love the kid who might know too much about the world at such a young age because of his home life. I'll love every single one of you with every ounce of love I have. Please remember that. And when I have kids, I will give you my full attention at school, even when my life is crazy hectic and hard. You deserve a teacher who is going to fight for you in every way. A teacher who believes in you, and a teacher who encourages you. Future students, you are more important to me than a lot of things in my life right now...and I haven't even met you. That is how much you matter. I pray that our classroom is a safe spot for you and that it is fun and magical and all things good. I can't wait to hear stories about what you did over the weekend and see your faces light up when we exchange valentine's day gifts. There are so many things I am looking forward to in my life, and meeting you is at the top of my list. I will spend the rest of my life working long, undocumented, unpaid hours for you. I will spend the rest of my life complaining about how much work teachers do and how little they are paid. I will spend the rest of my life spending the majority of my day in conversation with 8 year olds. I will spend the rest of my life fighting for you all to succeed. And I can't wait. Because you deserve someone to fight for you and love you (and not all kids have that). So, here I am. Sitting in my house with no AC on a hot June night. Listening to Taylor Swift and writing "you" this letter. Because I needed to remind myself why I am here, in this program. And it's all for you. Taylor Swift sings, "I'd give all I have honey, if you could stay like that". So, I'm giving all I have. I'm preparing myself for long days and millions of lesson plans in hopes that you keep seeing the world through your beautiful innocence... In hopes that your dreams haven't been crushed yet and that spark deep down inside you is still there somewhere, waiting for someone to help it thrive. Every test taken, every project submitted, every penny spent is for you. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you, and I can't wait to meet you someday.
Love,
Your Future {favorite} Teacher <3
