Goodbyes stink. They're awkward and unavoidable and not fun. In this day and age, goodbyes aren't as rigid as they once were, but they still sting just as much. I know I will see my roommates again, obviously (that was for you, mere)... but they won't be two steps away or a shout down the hallway.
I know enough to know that moving out and graduating from college isn't going to take away from all the joy that was felt in college. And I also don't believe it will drastically alter my friendships with those that I lived with (although, I know it does happen). My friendships will look and work different, yes, but these friendships are still real in very much present in my life.
I'm not sad in a ~wow I'm never going to get over this~ kind of way. More in like a nostalgic, reminiscent, I wish I could have paused it for just a moment kind of way. The friendships are still there and we will still see each other, but the things that filled and built our friendships are gone. Kitchen dance parties. Mega-bed. A Cinderella Story on the first day of the semester. Wondering who will buy the next dish soap. Hosting Friendsgiving. Hiding in each other's rooms to scare someone (@ Megan when I was under your covers). Tears shed over stress of grad school apps, o-chem, boys, and actually anything else because six girls were living in the same house (sorry Blacksburg). Late night runs to Sakura when it was snowing and it seemed crucial to go get it at that moment. One thousand packs of "Perdue perfect portion chicken" in the freezer because we all made chicken. Ironic name of our house (the knob) even though all of our knobs in the kitchen were missing, crooked, or would fall off. Pretending to be asleep when people walk in the door. Four wooden headboards. Five different alarms going off at seven in the morning. Getting attacked by stink bugs. Having seventeen (yes, we counted) bottles of laundry detergent in the laundry room for only six people. Being scared of house centipedes. Birds flying into our windows. Snakes found downstairs. Upstairs vs. downstairs girls. More cups and mugs than I think people who can fit into Lane Stadium. Missing spoons (guilty). And more love and grace than I can hope to have again.
Living with five other girls wasn't easy. We definitely had our arguments and fair share of passive aggressive texts about dishes, but that was far outweighed by all the good. As I'm writing this, I'm sitting in my big bear that I got for Valentine's Day a couple years ago. I named him Olaf, and Megan LOVED Olaf. Sophomore year she would come into my room and cuddle up next to him and sing frozen songs. I'm sitting in my new room that actually has air condition, a fan, blinds, and a screen in the window. My clothes are all unpacked and hanging up, and they brought the smell of mildew and old house back with them. Not the best smell, but a smell that reminds me of Blacksburg and my very best friends. A comforting smell. When I unpacked today, I pulled out stockings from sophomore year that we made when we came back from Thanksgiving break right before finals. There were pictures, notes, and mementos sprawled out in my new room that reminded me of my old one. All these little things that make up my room will bring me back to a time where I grew into who I was meant to be and a time when my faith grew exponentially because of the people I surrounded myself with. Proverbs 27:17 says that, "as iron sharpens iron, so that one person sharpen another." I read that verse a hundred times before I actually experienced its depth.
I'm not sitting here crying because college is over and depressed over the fact that my time living with my best friends has passed and my next roommate, besides my family, will be Ryan (haaaayyy, you can do the dishes). Right now, I'm actually really happy to be home. My room is cozy and my dog is sleeping next to me, and I'm no longer in a long distance relationship. However, the sadness will hit me in waves. It first hit me when we were all squished in Megan's room talking until 4 in the morning about the last four years. It will hit me when it's August and I should be going back to school. It will hit me when the fans in Lane Stadium start jumping for the first time this football season. It will hit me when I see the girls who are living in our house next year instagram a roommate picture. And every time, I am sure I will text my roommates and tell them how much I miss living with them and doing everyday, simple life with them. But I know greater things are to come. We have engagements, marriages, more graduations, job acceptances, and many more things to be celebrated in the future. For now, I'm thankful to have been sharpened by the best people I know. Thanks for making me realize that Blacksburg is and always will be Home.
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